“The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”Psalm 34:17-18
In case you are wondering, God and I are fighting. This is a typical child/parent fight and I know the only way this will be resolved is if I graciously accept the “My house, my rules” set standard, which I will. I know it and so does he but as for right now, I have slammed my door and I am going to sit on my bed and sulk because at this exact moment in time I am very very annoyed.
“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” Romans 12:12
That’s how we are supposed to handle it, right? Whether we are happy, sad, angry, or confused….”Praise him in the storm” they say! What if I am neither happy or sad? Angry or confused? What if right now my name tag says “Pessimist Polly” and all I have to offer God is a gigantic eye roll? I’m simply annoyed.
You know how when you have a fight with a parent, they always “discreetly but not really” bring in reinforcements because they know that even though what they are saying is true, we don’t want to hear it from them just because it’s coming from them? So they send in Person B spreading the same exact message in hopes that suddenly we will accept it. Which, to be honest, we usually do. It’s a dirty little trick we will never stop falling for. Let me tell you, God pulled that same trick on me today.
He brought in reinforcements in the form of a friend of mine, Courtney. She came bearing screenshot devotionals and quote upon quote. I was very frustrated this morning, and have been for many days before this one. I felt as if I was given a situation that was extremely unfair. I didn’t want this, I sure as heck didn’t ask for this, and truthfully I am OVER IT. Take it back God, this is a chapter I’m done reading. All these years I asked for God to give me a mountain like he gave Jonah, Moses, or David. I wanted to be great. I wanted to do great. Instead he gave me Rheumatoid Arthritis at the age of 21 which more or less is just like any other serious diseases minus the sympathy because “your joints just hurt right”? Negative. Please do not confuse me here, I am thankful that this isn’t a disease that kills you, I have counted my blessings tenfold for that. As far as sympathy, that is the last thing I need because I know me and if you give me a hole, I will wallow in it. My point here is I asked for a giant to face and I was pretty much given that kid that sits behind you on a flight kicking your seat and smacking their gum in your ear. It is just a constant annoyance that makes my life 10 times harder than it should be and today I was mad about it.
Courtney didn’t let me wallow. She looked at me and she says “You need to stop telling God how big your problems are and start telling your problems how big your God is.”
Ugh. Yes ma’am.
“It’s like my kids tell me about us being down here. ‘Bloom where you’re planted, God can use you everywhere.'”
‘We can’t control all of our situations in life but we can choose how we go about handling them. He can use us everywhere and going through anything.’
Ugh again, right? More of what I need to hear instead of what I want to hear.
Like, who gave this lady all this knowledge?
Then, she pulled out a devotional (Pictured Below) she had screenshot a few days prior and I knew then.
He had sent her.
She was his reinforcements and I had fallen for it once again.
It dawned on me soon after a quote I often use on my husband, “Let your situation work FOR you and not AGAINST you.”
So here I am God, admitting defeat. How can I expect you to give me a giant to face when I can’t even control the kid behind me?
I told Courtney today, “I don’t know what to do because I feel wrong going to him saying ‘Hey I’m REALLY annoyed with you’. I’m not even sure he allows it.”
Courtney: “He already knows how you’re feeling and what you’re thinking. He just wants you to be honest, genuine.”
“Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him for God is our refuge” Psalm 62:8
So here’s honest and genuine, and it feels kind of good.
Guess, we aren’t fighting anymore. But, check back in tomorrow.